well it was a funny day, the lil group went out again!,after what seems to be months
but little did i know,i would be offended a little during that day.It started as a rainy day,what typical singaporeans would describe as torrential but is infact a small thunderstorm.A plans were dragged and delay a little but everyone was relatively happy.Minge couldn't go cuz we sorta couldn't contact him and if i knew him well, he would be doing some socialising as well.
there we went,meeting up and going,having a nice "pool" day, until a small issue came up playing a slightly competitive game. At first it was a small issue,i was brushing it off but silly me tried to use it as leverage,unknowingly exposing a side of someone i nv did wanna see.Ruzzy was also quite upset that day although hes one of those type u can never tell is sad or not sad.lol found out later some reasons and such...relationships pftt how perplexing.
So contiuning with the malicious character, while taking our businesses to the loo,i was psychoing him to stand against bobs repeatedly...everything fine so far and he agreed uncountable times , but almost immediately after meeting "master" bobs , he turned against me...hestitating abit at first but under the provocation of the "master" some small insults were thrown.
The thing is, its not about the issue of the entire matter, but not keeping your word,having a 2 face appearance..one for me and one for them. The group being strangely problematic and complicated follows no logical hiearchy and somehow the positive relations turns sour in the influence of the peers in the group. Disloyalty is something i can't stand unless in exceptional circumstances,maybe im reading too deeply into something so trivia but i tend to forsee who will make a good friend of mine.Perhaps i have failed to understand the group or the individuals as a whole, i do try my best to be concern and see wads best for everyone..regardless of waiting,advising or sharing my personal feelings. many a times, i help them do various errands without expecting returns and i never regretted that..vlzar did try to console me about this but at the end of the day i questioned him, who is the first one who asked you whats happening when it all goes wrong, and akward silence follows.
the only thing that was nice the other day was ironically the "master" said i looked abit nicer these days.small consolation for everything else thats happening.These days im quite aware who i want as a friend but its been tough, some people are in jcs and pity i only recently got to know them while they were with me in our alma mater and other has grown a lil out of familiarity after the jc/poly division. strangely,the funny jovial person i was is gone and the common conversational topic between those in the "higher" teritary institution no doubt has shrunk. Limited talking points,less presence in their lives...definately makes it harder to express my concerns towards them but through it all,deep inside,i can still see by the glint in their eyes, they are still who they once were.
